Have you ever had one? I have....In fact, I have had a few. WOW, I am not looking too good, am I....LOL Well, I was not sure how to start my very first "Ask Angela" Blog (which who knows if anyone will ever read). I need to figure out how to make an About Me tab, which I will look into very soon. Anyhoo, back to the topic.
As of this post, I am 32 years old. Nothing will ever change from here on how many pregnancies I will have. I had the ESSURE procedure done after my second son was born last year. After you read this post, you will see why I needed something permanent. That being said, this mama can no longer have any babies :)
To give you some back ground on me and the subject. I became sexually active at the way too early age of 15. I knew then that having sex with or without protection I could get pregnant or get a disease. So, I tried to be extra careful, even at the dumb age of 15 thinking I was ready. Man if I could go back and tell myself that sex that young was not meant to be, I would. I mean it is painful and awkward and all around, you don't truly enjoy it until you are much older. And then it is wonderful! No offense to the first boys in my life. I cannot imagine I was all that great either, although they say it is different for guys...who knows. Back then, I told my first that if I become pregnant, I would either keep the baby or give the baby up. I would not have an abortion (I will get back to that) and should I choose to keep the baby, I would not hold him accountable to finances unless he wanted to be that babies actual dad. I did not want a child with a father who walks in and out of their lives. And you know what, that 15 year old boy who I was dating, slept with me anyway. WOW, we were some smart Freshmen :) As for the abortion thing, I feel it is wrong. And it was never an option for me as I knew I could never live with myself had I ever done that. I do have friends that have done it and I have been there with them through the process. Just because I personally think it is wrong, doesn't mean I think you are wrong, if that makes sense. I have been pregnant a total of 5 times, only one planned. So here are my unplanned (and 1 planned) pregnancy stories. Enjoy!
Let's see, accidental pregnancy numero 1~ I was 18, and it was a date rape (that is a whole other blog, so I will leave that at that). The stress of it all ended in a miscarriage. It was for the best and my only worry at that time was that maybe something is wrong with me and I may not be able to have children (that so was not the case). The miscarriage happened very early on, in fact that is how I found out I was pregnant. So, it was never an emotional attachment thing. Yes, I was on birth control bills and the strongest ones.
Numero Dos~ 21 years old. This is a good one that also will have to be in another blog in full detail. My boyfriend and I at the time were not planning on a family. I was late (on the pill as well, mind you, I never missed one, they were like a natural part of me, my life, just everything). So, I picked up the test and he met me at my apartment. I came out crying and he knew. He had brought my favorite flower, the Yellow Rose. He of course wanted me to have an abortion, which I re-told him, that will never be an option. I was not ready, he was not ready, WE were not ready. I have always dreamed of being a mother, I have a big family and I have been around children of all ages my whole life. However, I did not want raise a child needing help. I wanted my child to have everything they deserved. Even though I ultimately made the decision, my boyfriend knew it was right. We gave our daughter up for adoption to the most wonderful family ever. Since I always knew this would be an option if I had an unplanned pregnancy, it was much easier than expected. However, I know that God planned for me to have this baby for this family. Another accident, turned out pretty darn great all around.
Three~I was 25 with my then boyfriend, now husband. We we on a "break" as Friends would say....LOL But we were trying to figure it out. I was all sorts of a wreck and during this time and this time only, I had been forgetful on some pills. I was honest, so we used condoms. Still got pregnant. We decided we would have the baby and we were planning to move to Colorado from California. I turned out to have an ectopic pregnancy (where the baby is stuck in your tube) and it ruptured, I had an emergency surgery, lost 12 ounces of blood, half my left fallopian tube and the baby. This was my first major surgery ever. My mom was there freaking out and I could tell my then boyfriend was scared as well, more for me than the baby. So up until the surgery, I stayed strong. Just before I was put under, I lost it and balled to one of the nurses and just told her I was in utter shock at all that was happening. The loss of the baby made me sad but I was OK with it. We were not ready to start our family, but it was God's way of confirming that we were to work it out and we were to be together. My only fear was that I would have trouble having children when we were ready...Again, not the case.
Four~ PLANNED!!!!!!!!!!!! Finally. And even with that, our first son had to actually be conceived one month before we were "technically" trying. I swear, when it comes to babies, I cannot win....LOL Although, he cause major problems and I had kidney issues and I was on pain meds the last part of my pregnancy. I felt bad, but he turned out just fine. Colicy, but fine :)
Fifth and Final~ Planned (3 years later than happened). My son was 4 months old when our second son was conceived. I was on birth control and taking them like clockwork. When my son was 6 months, I was at a pre-op appointment for another kidney surgery and I had taken a pregnancy test. It was positive, so no surgery. I was in shock. In fact my husband and I talked a lot about how we needed to wait 2-3 years before having our second child and he told me I was not allowed to come home and tell him I was pregnant before then. He was half joking as we knew it would happen when it happen. But no way were we thinking this soon. We were not trying, in fact I wonder how it happened since I was always too tired to have sex. I felt down right bad for my husband. I was up a lot during the night with my son, I was back to working full time after 6 weeks. I have to admit, I was a little scared to tell him. More because once I told him, it was fore real REAL and I was a little afraid of that at that moment. I walked in, told him I was pregnant, told him I was freaked out, left with my son, called my dad and went over to my mother-in-laws. It took most the pregnancy to fully accept this new challenge. I will be honest, it has been very hard having two boys just shy of 14 months apart, but man, I sure love them to death and I would not change anything about how it happened now.
You see now why I needed a permanent method of birth control :) I am actually very happy with how it all turned out.
Since I am new to all this and I am just doing this more to get my stories out there in hopes that it can help anyone at all, I feel this has served it's purpose. If you have questions on about things on my blogs or have things you would like to ask me and maybe I can help or just be there to talk it out with you, that is the goal. You will learn so much about me as I write on. I have always had a desire to tell my stories. Most of them are not pretty, but I am a survivor and I am better for them even if at the time I did not think so. Thank you for reading, help me with this. And if anyone knows more about adding tabs before there is an "About Me" tab, help a sista out....HA HA
Night Night
Angela
No comments:
Post a Comment