I think I was 8. I know it is weird to say I think, but all I know is that I believe that is the age I was but I cannot remember. But now that I am thinking about writing this, 8 seems older than I remember me being. Who knows, all I know is what happened in great detail. It is funny how our mind will forget some things but then every other little detail you remember like you recorded it. So here it goes.
My grandma used to have parties all the time when I was younger. She still does but not as often. I used to be work behind the bar and make everyone their drinks. For a young girl, this was way awesome! Look at me, the little bar tender.
Anyhoo, the party winded down at some point and it was time for my mother to pack me up and drive us home (yes she was very intoxicated, but she did this every night of my live for longer than I can remember). As we were getting ready to leave there were 2 guys who were too drunk to drive and my grandma was out of room for guests to crash. So, she asked my mom if they could come home with us and stay the night and my mom can bring them back over tomorrow to get their car. My mom said yes. Why wouldn’t she. I mean these were friends of my grandma or someone. So they came home with us.
Now even though it was late when we got home, I still got up at like 6am. So, I got up and started my normal routine…..into the living room to watch my cartoons! Out to the living room I went, then I stopped. I forgot those guys had stayed the night. I stood their staring at them wondering if I could still turn on the TV quietly and watch until I could go outside. Well, if you remember the beginning of this, I was 8 or younger, so I turned on the TV and start to watch the cartoons. Well, one of them woke up. He said it was OK and he scooted next to me. He sat really close. He started to rub my arm. I thought it was weird but my stepmom and I would tickle each other’s arms all the time and I loved it. That is what it felt like. So, I went with it. After all, these were friends of my grandma’s. She would not ask bad people to stay with us. So I brushed off that little gut feeling I had. (As I have said before, woman, NEVER ignore your gut!!!!!) Well, then he started rubbing my legs. But I still thought, he has to be nice, he is a friend of my grandma’s. And the I am going to get in trouble for waking our guest sank in a bit which also cause me not to react to what he was doing. Then it happened. His hand was under my panties touching my unmentionables. I knew this was not right but I did not know what to do. I have no idea how long I was actually thinking before I got up and said, sorry I have to go potty. I locked myself in my room until my mom took them back to my grandma’s.
A week had gone by and I told no one what had happened. I felt I was in the wrong. I woke our guest and I was going to get in trouble if I told my mom what had happened. This was what I felt anyway. But I could not shake the feeling that this was not right. This week my mom was also very sick. I really thought she was going to die. So, I figured I would tell her. She was too weak to get mad at me and she would be dying soon so I don’t have to worry about her being mad at me for long. My mom was in my grandma’s bed resting when I came in. I stood there a long time just staring at her. She kept asking what. I just stood there. About 5 minutes later I finally spoke. “Mom, last week when those guys stayed over, I woke one up when I wanted to watch cartoons.” Look of irritation washed over her face and I thought about not saying anything else. But I mustered up the courage to tell her the rest. She got so upset and was crying and said she would kill him. Turns out he was a friend of a friend. They were staying at Los Cabos on Euclid and he had left his jacket at my grandma’s. Without my knowledge, my mom took me there with her to drop off the jacket. We left it at the counter and when she told me what we were doing, I freaked. I could not have my mom drive past Los Cabos ever again. It was a horrible reminder and I would cry when I saw the sign.
Fast forward many years later. I am a Sophomore in high school. I never really came to terms with all this until then. My boyfriend at the time Mom’s was taking me and her other children (not my boyfriend as he was at college) swimming. I was very excited until where I saw where we were going swimming at……Yep, Los Cabos on Euclid (it was a pool club thing for the moderately wealthy). I froze before we walked in. I explained it all to my boyfriend’s mom and she immediately said we could leave. I told her it was OK. That was the best thing I ever did. For the first hour, I kept looking over my shoulder (like he would still be staying there), waiting for him to just come up to me and say hi. Not that he would recognize me, but I figured it would happen anyway. The day carried on and I was able to stop thinking about it and enjoy myself. I can now drive by there with no issues what-so-ever, however, I have never been back there again to swim and I can say with 100% certainty, I never will. Not because I have bad memories, but because I no longer live in that state…..LOL
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